Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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