Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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