very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
