i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I am naked and annoyed.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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