**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Randomize
