My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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