yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
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She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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