What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
