Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize