You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
