BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
