my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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