I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
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I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
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woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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