I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
