you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
