Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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