dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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