you guys were way drunker than both of me
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
