so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
