I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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