I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I would fuck him just for his dog
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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