no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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