She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize