just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
