About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Damn victory sex feels great
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
