I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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