I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
