Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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