I met the friendliest cop last night
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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