she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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