Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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