The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
We need a shit load of segways right now
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
