Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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