What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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