I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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