He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize