Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
