I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
