i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
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If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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