you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Randomize
