i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
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