Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
