similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
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i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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