I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize