so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Randomize
