I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
We're too hungover to prance.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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