somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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