i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
