you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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