He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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