Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
