apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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