I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
oh god was she eating orange peels again
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
