End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
A bitchslap is in order.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
